Snakes on a Plane

The movie has redefined the darkest corners of the Internet with obscure and amatuer satirical sites spinning this movies marketing campaign brilliance. Just do a google image search on "snakes on a plane" and see what you get back.

Overall, the movie wouldn't have even made it straight-to-video if it didn't have the star power of Jackson behind it. Jackson saves this film from darkest bowels of Walmart bargin bin. Other than Jackson and an hour-and-a-half of senseless snake violence, this movie had very little going for it.

I never knew a writer could be so creative with snake attacks but I was proven wrong with this movie. Every sacred body part known to man was viciously attacked in this film. Shock value was the only vechicle driving this movie forward. But I most say, the creativity kept the horror movie and the audience screaming for more.

Rating: 4.5 out of 10

Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby

Exactly what you expect, Will Farrel in exactly the same movie he's done over and over again just with a differnent background. Its like Anchor Man with cars. So if you love Will Farrel and you love all of his movies, then this movie was made especially for you.

We've seen it all before, just done better in some of the other films. The funniest part in the movie is baby Jesus, Walker and Texas Ranger, and Ricky Bobby's daddy, all of which you get a pretty good idea about in the previews to the movie. The movie has enough going for it to keep you mildly entertained enough to make it through the whole of the film, but that's about it. I probably could have held off for the rental to come out on this one.

The most amazing thing about this movie is that it's grossed $90,000,000 on the night I write this. That's a hefty piece of the national deficit that we all could have put a down payment on. That's enough to shelter the homless or to feed a whole nation of hungry peoples. But instead, we blew it on a film that will be forgotten faster than a stoner trying to remember what he just said.

Rating: 3.5 out of 10

Little Miss Sunshine

I wasn't sure what to think going into this movie. Was it going to be a poorly done, mediocre, or spectacular as an independent film? Good news, it's somewhere between mediocre and spectacular. Maybe the word is mediocular or spectaculicre. How about the word great and entertaining.

It's a bit eccentric and not the kind of humor most people attach themselves too, but if it fits your style, you'll love it. Subtle and intellectual, with a hint of social satire and great characters. Well written and directed in a style that adds to the quirkiness of the film, without taking away from it like most independent films try to do because the director tries to put his signature on the directing style. Extremely well acted, especially the part of Olive.

I would recommend this to people who enjoyed Rushmore, Lost in Translation, and Clockwatchers. I would not recommend this to people who liked Dumb and Dumber, Last Action Hero, or any Michael Bay film.

Rating: 8 out of 10

The Descent

This is a heavy hitting horror film that successfully does what The Cave tried so desperately to accomplish and failed. The Descent does an excellent job of closing us in and giving the audience a keen awareness of the claustrophobic space these spelunkers are trapped in. The director also did a good job on the cave dwellers. Instead of going the straight-to-video route with cheap CGI computer creatures, he decided to go with poorly lit live-action monstrosities in costume.

The only draw backs to the flick were the wee attempts at a independent style through cut-backs of childhood scenes intermixed with the movie. The only problems is that these scenes didn't connect to the rest of the film near the end and felt like bits of bone stuck in a perfectly cooked fillet of fish (difficult to pick out and hard to stomach).

But the fine acting and solid story help keep the movie going at an acceptable speed and with the well placed jumpy moments, the film succeeded in its task. I must also note that the end of the film does not connect to the rest of the movie and should have been edited out.

Rating: 8 out of 10

The Ant Bully

I've been shocked at how well this movie has made it through the critics. Based on their comments, you'd think we've got another Toy Story or Finding Nemo. But the reality is, it's far from it. Have we gotten to a point where the eye candy of the computer animation outweighs the story, characters, and dialogue? If so, it's a sad day.

I'm not saying the movie was horrible, because it wasn't. It was just poorly voice-acted and the story was Honey I Shrunk the Kids meets A Bug's Life, not two movies I would put at the top of any list. To me, this movie will be forgotten quicker a thought that enters the mind of the guy from Momento.

Overall, mildly entertaining and some fun use of perspective. Annoying overuse of strong character traights like independance and strong-will as an emotinal offset to the cruel world. I would have rather seem the ants grow large and destroy the boy's home. That would have been a good spin on the shrunken human concept.

Rating: 5.5 out of 10

Pirates of the Caribbean

Hands down the greatest movie of the summer. It filled in the empty hole in my soul that Superman had left. Exciting and fun, great story with great characters, a well written script, and polished off with extraodinary stunts and special effects. I'm a huge fan of the franchise now.

I never thought Disney would be able to pull it off, but they made a great choice in assigning Gore as the director to this series. I think this movie has helped put Disney on the map, though I think Disney himself may be turning in his grave knowing that his vision is being trampled on for the quick buck generated by the mass marketing.

Great for all ages. I can't wait for the third one. Better than the Harry Potter series, just shy of the Lord of the Rings trilogy.

Rating: 9.5 out of 10

Monster House

I went into this film with pretty low expectations, so when the film turned out to be very entertaining, I came out of the theater a happy person. Great story with an interesting mix of characters kept the movie going a good pace.

The movie was much darker than I expected it to be. Definitely not for the toddler but great for schoolagers. My son enjoyed it. Chowder is definitely the funniest character in the movie playing the bumbling idiot with worst of luck. A fan favorite for the youthful crowd. How can you go wrong with the kids with him hitting himself in the head with a basketball, making fart sounds with his armpits, and oogling over the girl?

The backstory was rich and well explained which you usually don't get from a children's flick and the ending was satisfying (be sure to stick around for the credits). Overall, it reminded me of the fun I had with Beetlejuice and The Nightmare Before Christmas. Very Tim Burtonish.

Rating: 7.5 out of 10

Lady in the Water

M. Night has created what I feel is an excellent story that is well told in a cinematic format. Many critics have slammed this movie like a wrestling move focusing solely on M. Night's arrogance to cast himself in the movie as the writer who will save the world. Yeah, that's pretty snotty of him, but hey, it's still a great story.

Some things to note that will help you enjoy the movie. There isn't a twist ending like his other films, and the movie is a fairy tale. So get ready to suspend disbelief because this story requires a bit of imagination.

The movie also has some quirky social satire and commentary tossed in, which it is able to do with the wide spectrum of characters and the confined space they all live in. The funny in parts that you wouldn't expect it to be. With the mix of a good, strong story, great characters, the balance of comedy and horror, this movie for me was a wonderful experience. I would compare it Unbreakable, which most people don't get, but the one's that did get it, love it.

Rating: 8.5 out of 10

Clerks II

I loved the movie but I'm a little ashamed that I did. The movie definitely is over-the-top with shock humor, but I think the tid-bits of social satire made it stomachable. I'm a huge fan of the original because of the long dialogues that revolve around pointless conversations. And Clerks II delivered a taste of these same themes.

The rant that Lord of the Rings is nowhere near the epic of Star Wars was all I needed to feel satisfied with the movie, but the new characters, thin plot, and cameo appearances kept my interest. Kevin Smith is a accidental genius. He's got something that keeps him going but I don't think he's been able to fully exploit it yet. He's been more hit and miss than blind gunman in a drive-by. Clerks great, Jersey Girl crap, Mallrats great, Jay and Silent Bob crap, Chasing Amy great. I'm going to just start seeing every other film he puts out.

If you like Clerks, then you have to see this film, it's required by law. If you don't, the universe will shallow you whole for throwing off the delicate cosmic balance.

Rating: 8 out of 10

Little Man

I went to see this movie knowing deep down in the darkest recess of my heart that I was going to hate it. But in the spirit of trying to get in as many top ten movies as I can, I went to see it anyway, against my own will. Let's recap: this movie hovered in the number two spot and to date has grossed more than 50 million dollars. The only insight I gained from watching it is now I know that there are at least 7 million people willing to spend $7.00 on average to see flicks that they know are going to suck.

The movie is like the Dyson no-bag vacuum cleaner, it never loses its sucking power. The movie tried to sucker punch the audience with sophmorphic shock humor, but since we've all been desensatized by the Fararly Brothers, nut-crushing blows on American's Funniest Home Videos and the non-stop episodic adventures of South Park, this tactic no longer works.

My theory is that the Wayan brothers have found the magical Hollywood formula for making money off movies. Spend as little as you can in the production, like hiring Saturday Night Live rejects for actors (keep it cheap), keeping the movie short (always less than 1.5 hours), and then spend a small part of your budget on ads showing the best part of the film. And like magic, you spend 1 million, you pull in 50 million, and now you've got enough to make 49 more films with the same formula until you retire next door to Bill Gates.

Let me be perfectly clear, there is no reason to see this film.

Rating: 2 out of 10