007: Quantum of Solace

First off I've got to say, this is the stupidest Bond title to date. And that saying a lot because there are a lot of bad titles. For example, "Thunderball", "You Only Live Twice", "The Living Daylights"? The first one sounds like a sci-fi sports flick and the other two sound like failed soap opera titles. The latest title sounds more like the title of a article in the Scientific Journal than a bond movie. *whew* Now that that's off my chest.

I was a big fan of the last Bond flick. I think Daniel Craig is the best Bond yet. But this movie just didn't do it for me like the last one did. It was still an excellent movie, just not a superb as its predecessor.

For example, this line from the movie was horribly cheesy and should have never been spoken: "I want to set you free, but your prison is in here" (as she point to his head). Along those same lines I have got to say that this is the worst Bond girl yet. Boring. Cast Milla Jovovich as the next Bond girl.

Another example, the villain was poorly cast. I mean really, Bond vs. the wealthy, meek, skinny environmentalist. Dr. No had metal hands. Le Chiffre wept blood. Francisco Scaramanga (the man with the golden gun) had a third nipple. All Dominic Greene had was a smirk. Hardly the type of villain we come to expect.

But with all that aside, the movie is still very good.

Rating: 7 out of 10.

Role Models

You've heard this before: "The best parts are in the commercials". Well, this movie embodies that mantra. This movie should have gone straight to rental. The plot is about as dumb and they come.

Plot Summary: Two adult males act like they are still in high school. They have worthless jobs giving anti-drug speeches to teenagers through an energy drink endorsement. They get arrested and have to serve community service by helping troubled children. One child likes to live in a fantasy world playing live-action replaying at the local park. The other child is like the reincarnation of Eddie Murphey in a 10-year-old.

Sounds like a renter, huh?

The best one-liners in this movie, which is all the infantile writers of this film could muster all appear in the movie trailer.

My favorite conversation in the movie which happens at a coffee shop:
Danny: Can I get a large black coffee?
Barista: A what?
Danny: Large black coffee.
Barista: Do you mean a venti?
Danny: No, I mean a large.
Barista: Venti is large.
Danny: No venti is twenty. Large is large. In fact tall is large and grande is spanish for large. Venti is the only one that doesn't mean large. It's also the only one that's italian. Congratulations you're stupid in three languages.
Barista: A venti is a large coffee.
Danny: Really says who: Fellini? Do you accept lira or is it all euros now?

That's pretty funny, but that's about all you get.

Rating: 3.5 out of 10.

Madagascar 2: Escape to Africa

As far as animated sequels go, this one is just about as good as its original. Ben Stiller isn't very funny, but the animation is beautiful enough to distract you from that. The plot is shallow and the characters paper-thin, but that's what we come to expect from mass-marketed children films.

You could do a lot better with Ratatouille, Cars or Wall-E, but if you've taken your child to see these movies more than 15 times, then give Madagascar a try to just break up the monotony.

Rating: 4 out of 10.

Zack and Miri

It's basically a rip off of the 40-year-old Virgin. It's about ordinary, nerdy people who are thrown into uncomfortably sexual situations. It worked better in 40-year-old because Steve is a great comedic actor.

Don't get me wrong, Zack and Miri is good, it's just not as good. It relies too heavily on shock value and not enough well-written dialogue. Which is surprising since the movie was written and directed by Kevin Smith (Clerks, Mallrats, Chasing Amy). He is usually known for his dialogue. But in this one, it fails more than it succeeds.

I do have to give credit to the intro to the high school reunion scene though. Hilarious! Warning: Not for the faint of heart or the prude.

Rating: 6.5 out of 10.

Saw 5

If you didn't like Saw 2, 3 or 4, then you probably won't like 5. Same plot, same cast, different deaths. Instead of talking about how good or bad the movie is, we should really be talking about how many more Saw movies they are going to make. Are there Vegas odds on this number? I'm guessing it will end at 7.

As a side note, this movie has made over 55 million to date. As a comparison, Jolie's Changling has only made $27 million in the 4 weeks it's been out; Oliver Stone's W. only made $25 million; Woody Allen's Vicky Cristina Barcelona only made $22 million. Tells you what movie goers are more interested in seeing.

If you haven't seen it, it's only worth a $1 rental at a RedBox, and that's only if you could stomach the other 4 movies.

Rating: 6 out of 10.